I have this wave of pressing sadness that’s drowning me- I can’t see the sun and, god almighty, I think I can fly. I look back and see all the signs and instead of shedding tears I’m in a fit of laughter. The tears will come when the sun has fallen and I lay in the bead alone and the silence…the silence will cut every inch of decency out of me-then I can cry for something lost long ago.Drinking makes all my thoughts seem so sane and logical. I love you!!! I hate you!! I just wish I didn’t feel anything for you. I have decided to put this bottle of whiskey away and face my truth. Or should I say, the truth created. I knew I would loose you when I could no longer laugh at your endless jokes and empty promises. These sentences are made by words that seem to stumble together and try to make some sort of enlightenment breath live back into me. I hate my insomnia- it helps me over analyzing every move and expression you said to me I wish there was a way to restore my tarnished innocence. i think the whiskey is once again taunting my mixed emotions. I’m fucking drowning but I can’t call your name!!!!!!